@tsm560: I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in... and great the cops are here again.
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@Social_Mime: He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.
@JermHimselfish: Peanut butter and jelly are so in love with each other that all they do is lay around in bread all day.
@robdelaney: The contents of my son's last diaper was so upsetting to both of us we shared a cigarette after I changed it.
@huntigula: [at aquarium] "Kids, the blowfish is named bc of its cheeks" BLOWFISH: [taps glass] actually that's a common misconception, got any cocaine?