@foxnerdrn: I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers.
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@InternetHippo: AGE 18: There's someone special out there for you! AGE 28: You'll find them one day! AGE 38: It'll happen! DEAD: Just be patient!
@ClichedOut: *checking out* Card Reader: Would you like to donate $1.00 to Charity X? □ Y □ N *enters N* CR: Are u a selfish prick? □ Y □ N
@TheMichaelRock: *catches 4yo putting on deodorant* Me: What are you doing? 4yo: Feeding my armpits. Me....as you were.
@panmidwest: INTERVIEWER: strengths? ME: I'm good at presenting both sides of an argument INTERVIEWER: great ME: which could also be a weakness…