@MandiAtRandom: I feel like something is missing from my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
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@NathanBgood: Why, yes, that is a banana in my pocket! *removes banana* How did you know? *begins to peel & eat banana* I’m still glad to see you though.
@papasuncle: ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
@SteveSuckington: [Taken 26] Abductor: I have your great granddaughter LIAM NEESON: I literally died 12 years ago