@babyitsmb: I feel like Trump and Hillary are two divorced parents fighting over custody of us but we kinda just wanna go live with grandma.
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@YoungFunE: I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I'm like "That's enough exercise for today"
@CubanaMama82: I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: *eating my 3rd bowl of spicy chili* Her: OMG you are not sleeping with me tonight M: *eats spicy chili for the rest of my natural life*