@babyitsmb: I feel like Trump and Hillary are two divorced parents fighting over custody of us but we kinda just wanna go live with grandma.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: You should cut your toenails. Wife: Huh? M: You're scratching my leg. W: I'm WAY on the other side of the bed! M: That's kinda my point.
@rutesperanza: If you use yahoo search engine, A really lonely nerd in his yahoo office frantically googles your request and then posts the results
@Cheeseboy22: Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."