@AbbyHasIssues: I feel like whoever named it a "magic marker" was really overselling their product expectation-wise.
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@Marlebean: *interrupts your heartfelt story* Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say "dying wish" again! Ok now say "coffee"!
@dsylixec: If you're trying to kidnap me, just wave a bag of cookies and throw it in a windowless van. I will happily and hungrily follow.
@shutupmikeginn: An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car
@NikatNiteNite: Why are there never any cool side affects from drugs? Like "this drug may cause severe sexiness"