@AbbyHasIssues: I feel like whoever named it a "magic marker" was really overselling their product expectation-wise.
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@NervousJr: People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
@ManJuggs: Just overheard the gentleman in the next stall whisper "get out of me" and then start to cry. God I hate the Olive Garden.
@edfoxcomedy: 1) Bake cake. 2) Don't cut it into pieces. 3) Eat the whole thing. 4) Claim I ate "only one piece of cake."