@AbbyHasIssues: I feel like whoever named it a "magic marker" was really overselling their product expectation-wise.
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@HatfieldAnne: “His and hers” gifts are the thoughtful choice for any wedding. The division of property goes so much more smoothly.
@Quartzjixler: I hate when I read something so offensive on Twitter that my monocle falls out of my eye and into my brandy snifter.
@WilliamAder: Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose.
@jonnysun: im more than just a birth year and a death year so my tombstone will instead be engraved with a handful of random years i remember enjoying