@bourgeoisalien: I feel pretty smart until I realize the wild ducks I’m surprised by on my neighbor’s lawn are metal lawn ornaments he’s had for 5 years.
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@JermHimselfish: I just saw Madonna climb out of a hollowed out tree trunk in the woods near my house.
@VeryLonelyLuke: Only 2 kids made it out of my Jedi class. One killed the padawans. The other was abandoned in the desert I'm dreading that class reunion.
@TheTweetOfGod: Since yesterday was the National Day of Prayer, today must be the National Day of Disappointment.