@El_nacho_Nigre: I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.
@theshamingofjay: A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment
@mejustbeth: It seems like I only lose weight when I don't buy ice cream. Can someone else start buying my ice cream for me please?
@ArfMeasures: [Bank] ROBBER: Look, as long as everyone is cool, no-one will die *I walk in* ROBBER [picks up gun] well, guess what, everyone