@Schmoodles: I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t.
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@QwertyJones3: [phone rings] "Hello?" Hi, is your refrigerator running? "WTF?" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign.
@SCBamaMan: I'll be signing books at the library tomorrow from 2-4pm (or until that librarian calls the cops again). Come on out!
@PaperWash: *Signs into Facebook "If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" is posted everywhere *Agrees *Deletes Facebook
@DothTheDoth: Dear diary, although he was a malevolent killer, the headless horseman was really well dressed. My emotions about this are confusing.