@Schmoodles: I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t.
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@iFluff8: Millions of people are killed every year because they didn't check behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop.
@upsidedowntrash: [Shark Tank] Me: [holding tiny top] It's called Blouses For Mouses™ CEO: The plural of mouse is mice. M: Ok, Blice for Mice™ then whatever
@RalphSudafed: A manual RT is like saying "Hey check out this guy, but keep looking at my face. Please...don't ever stop looking at my face..."