@U_Want_Shum_M8: I finally figured out the moral of Beauty and the Beast: Sure,Gaston had good looks. But the Beast had shitloads of money.Good choice, Belle
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@doritoburritho: [using ouija board] Why isn't he responding to us? I'm annoyed H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D
@XplodingUnicorn: My pregnant friends put me in charge of their gender reveal party I can't wait till they pop the balloon & find out they're having a kraken
@cluedont: I was just about to go and remind my neighbour to slam all of his car doors as many times as possible in five minutes, but there's no need.
@TheMichaelRock: Only attractive people that get laid all the time troll people on the internet. Everybody knows that.