@KentWGraham: I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would’ve been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer.
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@SadieSmithRoks: Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it.
@Dis0beyJay: [at wedding] Is there any reason why these two shouldn't be wed? * me yelling * SHE THINKS WOLVERINE COULD BEAT PREDATOR *pianist vomits*
@sammyrhodes: If you've ever wondered which of your friends loved V for Vendetta, you're in luck today.
@dumbbeezie: "You ruined everything." -People exaggerating when you only ruined like one or two things, tops