@KentWGraham: I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would’ve been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer.
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@I_Bl33d_Purple: I'm trying to be more fit these days, so now I walk inside the store to buy my donuts instead of using the drive-thru.
@Thynebear: Teen girl in mirror "I look like death!" [Meanwhile in Hell] Death scoffs & flips his hair "Yeah, as if"
@RidiculousSheri: You know what cats don't like? Blow dryers. You know what's funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat. Anyway, I lost an eye today.
@NaaN_Conformist: Back in my day, we didn't have iPads. If we wanted to act elitist, we stuck the collars of our Polos straight up.