@KentWGraham: I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would’ve been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer.
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@Brampersandon_: FIANCÉ: where should we go on our honeymoon ME (after hearing there's a charizard hidden at mt rushmore): how do you feel about south dakota
@tastefactory: ME: [in front of mirror] Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary *Bloody Mary appears* ME: I'm moving today and need your help BLOODY MARY: Shit
@House_Feminist: Just when I thought we'd avoided all controversial topics at Thanksgiving dinner my niece said Aristocats was better than The Lion King