@KentWGraham: I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would’ve been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer.
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@bgirl314: 5: Mommy can we pee in the pool? M: NO! Neighbors kid: Why? M: Because pee mixed with chlorine produces sharks and they'll eat and kill you.
@Social_Mime: *calls restaurant* Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant? Host: Of course it is sir *hangs up*
@philmann: PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom