@SlabBaconBP: I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking.
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@3sunzzz: My husband has texted me 12 times from the grocery store with questions. He's only made it to aisle 4. Pray for me.
@PetrickSara: Brushing my daughter's hair Me: Why is your hair SO tangled? 5: I don't know. Glue maybe? Me: Did you put glue in your hair? 5: Yes.
@Fred_Delicious: Fun fact: Snakes don't exist. They were made up by scientists in 1923 as a joke that went too far so they just kinda rolled with it
@Contwixt: If I was a witch I would cast vague and subtle spells. So and so never gets to see a rainbow again. That type of stuff.