@SlabBaconBP: I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking.
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@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.
@NateKofiStruck: The janitor lady for my apartment building asked me out on a date & said she had some weed. I told her I'm not into high maintenance women.