@JizzIam: I find the best way to deal with death is not to be the person who is dead.
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@tech_pirate: 1 in 5 people are Chinese. Only 5 people in my family, it's either mom or dad, brother Colin, younger brother Ho Chan. I think it's Colin.
@MalcInYourWife: So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said. I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say.
@heatherlou_: "IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!!!" I yell at the guy next to me at the red light while tweezing stray hairs from my chin.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Ben Carson makes stuff up" said Donald Trump, self-proclaimed zillionaire, demigod and unicorn owner.