@NutellaV: I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
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@illuminatedwndr: "Would you like to import all of your phonebook contacts to your Twitter account...?" hahahaha yeah, that'll go well
@generaldietz: Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.