@stoneman67: I followed this woman on a bike with an empty baby seat for a half a mile yelling, "your baby jumped out!" before she gave me the finger.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_definitlymaybe: If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!
@zgbetty: The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
@NotthatAdamWest: The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine.