@goodhairperson: I forgot the word "torch" earlier today so I googled "fire on a stick." I have two degrees in English.
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@rsynder336x2: Wife: Can you fix this, the holes too big for the thingy majingy? Me: Hey I know how it feels! Hahaha! *And then I regained consciousness
@Cheeseboy22: Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.