@zachreinert03: I forgot to wear my glasses when I drove today. I didn't even notice I wasn't wearing them until the kid on my windshield said something
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@PhoenixRises69: Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said "Surprise me". Hope she likes her new pet python.
@trevso_electric: Thanks to ChristianMingle, I met the woman I will put through a terrifying emotional rollercoaster before I finally come out of the closet.
@noogscorner: Pick something up. You just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet. Earth, do you even lift?