@krisv_723: I found a Squirtle in my pants & I'm not even playing Pokémon Go!
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@pinupteacher: Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE.
@TheJamieLee: My Starbucks guy just said, "Looks like you had a rough night!" ...I didn't even go out.