@krisv_723: I found a Squirtle in my pants & I'm not even playing Pokémon Go!
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@awkwardphilippe: Confusing prank: Obtain a grizzly bear, name it Love then call 911 and say that Love is tearing you apart
@steveolivas: 12yo son forgot his electric toothbrush -- so now he has to MOVE HIS ARM to brush his teeth. His protest was legendary.
@Playing_Dad: Boss: Why do you look so sad? Me: I actually paid a college hundreds of thousands of dollars so I could do this