@joeljeffrey: I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me.
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@QwertyJones3: [Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] "You doing legs today?" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt.
@Breadery: Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?