@fusedude: I found out today that if I just let go of the steering wheel, my car will drive itself. The catch is: my car is a terrible driver.
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@WritePlay: "What an awesome body-" Oh... thanks. I work out- "- of research." - formulas. I work out formulas. *sips tea* I do a lot of math.
@TheTweetOfGod: I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
@Thomas1774Paine: Nine months from now -- when there's a baby boom in Hawaii -- you'll know who took the incoming missile warning seriously.
@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.