@SveldtSmelt: I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbbieEvansXO: THERAPIST: tell me about your childhood THE PREDATOR FROM ALIEN VS PREDATOR: well, when I was a child predator... THERAPIST: ok, first let’s talk about phrasing
@michaelianblack: Ugh: I hid three dozen raw eggs in the house last night after taking Ambien and now I can't find them.
@Trustedshoe: [me trying to sell my personal information on the dark web] For a dollar I’ll tell you how much cheese I eat.