@AristotlesNZ: I gave my 1yo a chocolate covered raisin. He chewed, paused, then gave me a look that told me he will never trust another human being again.
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@MartaEffing: *hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*
@HumbleTeej: I didn't want to be the one to have to do this but I'm not here to make friends and I have to tell the truth: coconut water is disgusting
@HousewifeOfHell: The Good News: My doctor says I'm healthy as a horse. The Bad News: She used another large farm animal to describe my weight.