@RadOrDie: I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.
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@Weird_Rash: Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?
@dadofbieber: Daughter 1: Dad, I'm lesbian. Daughter 2: Me too dad. Dad: Doesn't anyone like guys here? Son: I do?.
@Fred_Delicious: "Hi yes I'd like to attempt the Cheeseburger challenge" "Very good sir" [ripped as hell cheeseburger runs out of the kitchen & bodyslams me]
@iBrowniEd: Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape.