@MAB1013: I gave myself whiplash. It couldn't be helped. Bohemian Rhapsody came on, and my kids weren't gonna teach themselves how to head bang.
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@fraservalleyjay: Sometimes for fun I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they open the door I say "Hey! Sorry I'm late."
@Chelsea_Elle: Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom.
@Kali_Mura: Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my -- Satan: I have a girlfriend.
@GetCougarized: I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid.