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@ilovepie84: "I gave that guys wife a pearl necklace"
@Coastiefish: I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either.
@hazelmotes1: I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone.
@MamaHuntsBest: IDGAF if you're black, white, yellow, brown or blue.
Well, I do if you're blue, I'll stop and give you CPR if you're blue.
@withanewname: "Five year plan?"
...written down here somewhere
... Ahh, here it is, lemme clean the cheese off this Mcmuffin wrapper
@Awk0Tacoo: It's really hard to explain that your eyes are really red from allergies and not weed when you're buying cupcakes and a pound of Doritos.