@naughtywriter2: I get about your body being a temple but... right now I wanna turn mine into a bouncy castle, it sounds more like fun. I'm all about fun.
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@HeatherLuvsYou: I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it "cooking"
@Philosopherbing: I woke up at 3 am this morning to the sound of my burglar alarm "Time to go out and rob some people!" I said
@Crunk_Jews: [blind date] Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU
@SCbchbum: Nothing snaps a woman into full blown CSI mode faster than an unfamiliar ponytail holder in her car.