@naughtywriter2: I get about your body being a temple but... right now I wanna turn mine into a bouncy castle, it sounds more like fun. I'm all about fun.
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@goodballs: How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos.
@abradacabla: *walks up to Michael Cohen's door* "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Says." "Says who?" "THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM."
@thatUPSdude: Niece: Uncle I can't find my Girl Scout cookies? Me: (slow kicks empty boxes under couch) That's Weird.