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@blainecapatch: i get all my pet peeves from a peeve rescue
@dreamthievin: ANYTHING can be considered your job if you hate it enough.
@jonnysun: spider-man, spidre-man,.
does watever a spider can:
has two legs., he can talk.
wat kind of spider bit this guy
@thrillhicks: If we’re out of croutons, I’ll just turn the toaster upside down and shake it over my salad.
@BackrowSeats: If you can't be with the one you love then be with the one who has the best cable package.
@BriarSly: "Wish You Were Beer!"