@GoddamnedZombie: I get Bi with a little help from my friends.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: If Pokémon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave.
@jwoodham: THANKSGIVING ICEBREAKERS: (1) Obama, am I right? (2) Ebola, am I right? (3) Was his full name Bugs Bunny or was he just a bunny named Bugs?
@NurseMurderer: I told my date I was depressed. I added, "not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don't like you depressed."