@LeannaZaiden: I get bi with a little help from my girl friends.
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@ArfMeasures: WEBSITE CEO: We need a fool-proof way to ensure everyone who enters the site is over 18 "What about clicking on a button that says I'm over 18?" WEBSITE CEO: Bob, you have done it again
@wife_housy: Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster.
@eeethanford: Me: Did it hurt when you fell from Kevin? Friend: Yes, because Kevin's friggin tall and sucks at giving piggy back rides Kevin: bro
@quietlybiased: Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid.