@FuckabillyRex: I get hit with a lot of folding chairs for someone that's not a professional wrestler.
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@QuietPsycho: Advice from a 6 year old patient: "You should wear your stethoscope everywhere...girls will really like you. You look smart"
@crushingbort: *crowd in 1889 screaming because I appeared out of thin air and shot a baby* that was Baby Hitler...everyone calm down that was Baby Hitler
@AimeeHelene1: I own a lot of cleaning supplies for someone whose friends inscribed "dust me" on my coffee table recently.
@ABurgerADay: [first day as car salesman] Customer: Cargo space? Me: Car no do that. Car no fly. Manager: Can I see you in my office?