@Midgetspar: I get it. True beauty comes from within. But until true beauty can wear lingerie and give a mean lap dance, I may have a few shallow moments
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@Amusitr0n: If someone's embarrassed just tell them an astronaut did the same thing. For example, "It's ok, Buzz Aldren once shit himself in an Arby's"
@RidiculousSheri: *me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa.
@AnkCoupleTO: [teen me w/GF in my dad's car] Me: You wanna do it? Her: *giggling* Yes Me: *hears voice whisper no glove, no love* GET OUT OF THE CAR MOM