@weinerdog4life: I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never, oh you knocked me down again, you are being very rude
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@Twtercide: Me: I have a date tonight. Friend: A guy coming over to install cable isn't a date. Me: *frowns* But I got a cheese platter....
@davidkenny100: When I was growing up, my mum was always saying "you can do it!" Like when I was asking who was cooking dinner for example
@kiebi: It's funny how red, white and blue represents freedom until its flashing behind you to pull over
@mattytalks: A very busty woman whispers to me "I want you to tell me if these look real" my eyes widen, then she takes out pictures of the moon landing