@DamienFahey: I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
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@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me
@ddsmidt: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.
@Reverend_Scott: Inspirational tweet: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope yours is a freight train.
@MonSwanson: I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend "because I'm such a pretty girl". I'm a psycho, grandma.