@LuvPug: I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk.
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@BuckyIsotope: Fired from my job as an autopsy technician for repeatedly asking "are you gonna eat that?" during the procedures.
@DirtMcTurd: Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? "What? Why?" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. "It's OUR wedding!"
@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.