@Neuronicism: If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong.

@Cheeseboy22: My wife is always like, "You answer the door, I don't even have my bra on!" and for that reason, I have stopped wearing a bra.

@Bizarro_Mark: If the sprayer in the sink can't get it off and the dishwasher can't get it off then I assume it's just meant to be a part of the pan.

@charmfoz: If you have 6+ numbers after your name as part of your Twitter handle I can only assume you're an inmate & tweeting from prison.

@NicCageMatch: Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"