@iAmDelFreaky: When somebody unfollows me, I want to go on a shopping spree and walk into their house while holding bags and say, "Big mistake. Big. Huge!"

@jabbins: Left my car for maybe 15 minutes in front of the dorms and I come back to this. College man

@T_N_Crumpets: [Supermarket] Me: QUICK, WHERE IS YOUR FROZEN SECTION Assistant: Aisle 7 Me: GREAT [opens trench coat and 6 penguins fall out] let's go guys

@PyrBliss: If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road.

@Donnie_Fairburn: Insanity [in•san•i•ty] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex