@OhNoSheTwitnt: I get you, anti-evolution people. I'm too lazy to learn science too.
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@wankcity: "more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*
@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to helicopter class. any questions..' *student raises hand* *arm gets obliterated by chopper blades* 'can wait until we go inside'
@aka_fatman: *puts seashell up to ear* Me: I think I can hear the ocea- Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days. Me: (to friend) It's for you.
@chuuew: "Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?" "Go on then" "NOT THE KRYPTONITE!" "That's Superman" "Thanks, I've been practicing."