@OhNoSheTwitnt: I get you, anti-evolution people. I'm too lazy to learn science too.
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@Clare_innit: It's fun to smudge your lipstick and ruffle your hair before you come out of your bosses office, then give your work colleagues a wink.
@bidenandobama: Biden: we could call it "Real Talk With Joebama" Obama: do you even know how to make a podcast, Joe?
@Fred_Delicious: wait did that Australian guy say "meteorite" or "mate are ya alright?" *gets hit by a meteorite* "hey mate are ya alri... no you're dead*
@MotherJonestown: STAGES OF DRUNK: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don't wake up the cows.