@OhNoSheTwitnt: I get you, anti-evolution people. I'm too lazy to learn science too.
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@kumailn: The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.
@jdforshort: Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well.
@maddyalou: Son: Will you please just try to act normal today? Me: You're going to have to be more specific.