@UnFitz: I give everyone nicknames because using real names is for people who can remember people's names.
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@DaddyBeerGuy: My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!
@Heldinchains: Autocorrect changed honey to homey. Now, instead of going out to a romantic dinner we will be doing a drive-by.
@sonictyrant: Me: can i get that last tub of frozen cow juice ? Sales assistant: oh ha ha, thats ben and jerry's Me: *Leans in and slides a 50 over the counter* i wont tell em if you dont