@UnFitz: I give everyone nicknames because using real names is for people who can remember people's names.
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@NYC_Blonde: I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with "no wonder you've been looking chubby".
@CherBear162: Where's my cell? "Right there." That's not my phone. "Yes it is. I cleaned it!" My cell's white?
@shopkins776: Gf: "You want to know what your problem is?" Me: *looks at watch* "Ok, but our dinner reservation is in six hours"
@JoParkerBear: [shower song] Im all outta Dove Im soapless without you I'll never get clean Now that you are all gone *grabs shampoo mic* IM ALL OUTTA DOVE