@EllDavey: I go in bars in a suit & tie, drink all night & write tweets down in a notebook. They're not quite sure if I'm the district manager or not.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_Tempo11: I buy reverse osmosis filtered alkaline water for my dog and he prefers to drink out of the lake.
@Merman_Melville: At my funeral the priest will throw my corpse into the crowd and whoever catches it will be the next to die
@robdelaney: Shouldn't there have been ONE scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel's mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man's shed?"