@NaaN_Conformist: I go through the 7 stages of grief just to get to work everyday.
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@LackOfShame: I'm "had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing" years old.
@CopBroughtPizza: cow: where does milk come from? me: *laughs* cow: *laughs* farmer: *laughs* milk man: *laughs* everyone: *laughs* cow: but no, seriously.
@joejwest: ST BERNARD DOG: [getting ready for work] Honey have you seen my barrel? WIFE: Which one? SBD: The little one I wear AROUND MY NECK EVERY DAY
@StellaRtwot: I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.