@YesIamThatGuy: I go to McDonald's once a month just to replenish the napkin stash in my car
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@davedittell: *takes load of groceries off of old woman's hands* these are mine now you old prune
@murrman5: [on way to play charades with gf's family] I don't wanna go why I don't wanna look silly you won't *first thing I have to act out is pasta*
@clindsaysway: The rare times my cat comes to me for affection, I run and hide under the bed, so she knows what that feels like.