@ilovepie84: I go to the bank wearing a Ski mask because I want everyone to know how athletic I am.
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@WhoTheHeckIsMeg: ["Platonic" male friend rams car through my bedroom wall] I heard you broke up with your girl. You ok? Ready to give men a try now?????????
@Fyrekrakr73: Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
@alrulz2009: If you love something set it free. If it comes back, celebrate with some delicious tacos. If it doesn't that's twice the tacos for you.
@Maxine12339: Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.