@Alpot86: I got 66 problems and being upside down is 1
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@Staggfilms: [yelling over the music to club DJ] ME: YOU DONT HAVE TO HOLD THOSE HEADPHONES UP TO ONE EAR THEY GO ON YOUR HEAD THEY’RE CALLED HEADPHONES
@flashember: The microwave was invented in 1946 when an enraged toddler demanded his food be locked in a revolving prison and destroyed by lasers.
@salamingia: Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up