@ajax06: I got a 100 dollar giftcard to Kmart and now I can't decide which Kmart I want to buy.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone preaches body acceptance, until you show up naked at the company picnic.
@kelkulus: Fun Christmas Trivia: "Myrrh" is the awkward sound you make when you look at your bank balance on Dec 26th.
@ninatreemonkey: If I had two bathrooms I'd tell everyone someone died in one, I ain't tryna clean two bathrooms
@bornmiserable: [ER: Goth Unit] Nurse: Doctor, the patient is starting to smile Doctor: God damnit NOT ON MY WATCH I WANT 500 CCS OF JOY DIVISION NOW