@ajax06: I got a 100 dollar giftcard to Kmart and now I can't decide which Kmart I want to buy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JaySuch: My son wanted to go to Disney, but I told him little boys who ruin marriages don't go to Disney.
@brunopieroni: I left my Kindle on the train. This would have never happened if I was carrying 8 bookshelves full of books with me like in the old days.
@RamblingMachine: You think your spouse loves you?Put them & a dog in the trunk of the car for a day. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.