@FattMernandez: I got a bracelet that posts where I ran, and how far to facebook, and I put it on a deer. So it just looks like I'm lost in the woods.
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@fro_vo: [spelling bee] Your word is "echo" can you use it in a sentence? SENTENCE entence enᵗᵉᶰᶜᵉ ᵉᶰᶜᵉ ᶜᵉ
@SamuelHLowe: - What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.
@bea_ker: Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head
@yenniwhite: Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants.