@DevilryFun: I got a facial tonight by hovering over the boiling water before throwing in the mac n cheese.
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@GetCougarized: I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid.
@Rollmaninoz: I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back.