@dumbbeezie: I got a final Jeopardy question right and now my pinky won’t stay down when I take a drink
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@FranksGrapjes: 1st date She: I enjoy long walks on the beach. Me: *nod knowingly* Because you want to lose weight.
@Sephira: 2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
@daemonic3: "Ok, what chemical symbol should we give this Gold?" *thief runs by, steals gold* "Hey! You!" Au, got it. Next element.