@goodersuk74: I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely
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@therealeatwood: BRAIN: Wake up! Someone’s knocking on the door of your hotel room! ME: No one is knocking and I’m not at a hotel. BRAIN: Haha, you’re up tho
@facciabella: An astronaut squirrel, a snail that meows, crab with a whale as a daughter. Dear creators of spongebob, pass the drugs.
@AintNoFamily: I can't wait to stick my descriptive adjective all up in your noun until you verb all over my face.