@goodersuk74: I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely
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@pinupteacher: Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.
@robfee: I stopped using Hotmail, it's not for me. I'd rather have an average mail with a pleasant sense of humor and a fulfilling career.
@just1fool: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs.
@thejessbess: Probably the most valuable life lesson I've learned from a movie is to not steal black girls' cheer routines.