@MrsGoose69: I got a pet hyena because someone has to laugh at my tweets...
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@ninjadinosaur1: I hate when I'm in a room with 3 other people, & I have to shove the entire kit kat in my mouth.
@Tmoney68: "Stomach...Lungs...Kidneys....Heart." - Me, at my organ recital. (Not even slightly sorry)
@iNusku: I've been taking my Flintstones' vitamins daily, but I still can't start a car with my feet.
@LeonHWolf: How do you explain this gap in your resume? "I was in jail." Okay. Sure you weren't working for Trump's campaign? "Swear to God. Jail."