@MrsGoose69: I got a pet hyena because someone has to laugh at my tweets...
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@TheAlexP: [at bank] Samuel L Jackson turning in swear jar: I need a bank check to buy Rhode Island
@Go2Slp: Mufasa didn't die, he just went out for a pack of smokes and a newspaper. - The Lyin' King
@DirtyySouthMess: I always thought I was attracted to men but this chick eating a Snickers on the elliptical has me questioning things.
@rancheroni: [preparing for a date] me: what if she kisses me roommate: you kiss her back, bro me: ok me: *thinking* but why her back though