@MrsGoose69: I got a pet hyena because someone has to laugh at my tweets...
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@lovemydogduck: I drank so much wine last night when i walked across the dance floor to get another glass, i won the dance competition.
@GarryShandling: If you're head of the CIA and can't hide an extramarital affair it means it can't be done. Case closed, fellas.
@JasonLastname: First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, "THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism.