@RobocopLust: I got a tapeworm once back in the 80s. Now I have an mp3worm.
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@Midgetspar: Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until Creepy Stan from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
@hmcpherson17: Sitting outside the dentist office eating Oreos, b/c I think everyone should earn their pay.
@twelveyearsold: i was just roughed up by a hipster bully. he gave me a knuckle sandwich, but also offered a gluten free alternative