@RobocopLust: I got a tapeworm once back in the 80s. Now I have an mp3worm.
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@Coops_Bradley: Just found out I'm pregnant. At least that's what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
@vinnycrack: the best insult ever is "who is this clown" because 1. you're calling them a clown 2. you're saying they're not even a well known clown
@dafloydsta: WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?