@thesulk: "I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losin' control." Buddy, you got stomach flu.
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@BarryVonAwesome: If you own a karate dojo and you don't make your employees answer the phone "Hiiiiiiiiya" You're doing it wrong
@amusedkerching: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"
@AimeeHelene1: *holds door for someone* Them: This weather... Me: No. *starts pulling door closed on them* T: *pulls on door* Me: *holding door closed* No.