@JermHimselfish: I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake.
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@fapanislives: Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.
@UGotMeRight: My boss says I need to work on my people skills & he needs to work on his changing four slashed tires skills.
@IrishVin: Her: Can I see your phone? Me: Cu-caw! Cu-caw! Cu-caw! **Flaps imaginary wings and flys into another room**
@deardilettante: I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger.